Local Man Makes Retard Bet

Local man Gregory Carpenter, seen above on pavement, made a wager he would soon come to regret with Michael Majewski, shown above in victory pose.

It all started one day while Majewski was doing his daily proclimations of New England Football Patriots future success/domination. Carpenter had deemed Randy Moss to be less effective with the Patriots than Majewski did, and accepted a $1 wager on Randy Moss over/under 20 touchdowns this season with 1,000-1 odds.

Yikes.

Carpenter's olive branch of trust he had put in the Patriots spreading the ball around was soon destroyed by woodpeckers of force feeding the ball to Randy Moss despite double and occasional triple coverage.

Sources have revealed that each time Randy Moss would score a touchdown, Majewski would text Carpenter, stating "That's X thus far shooter", as well as forwarding the scoring update from ESPN to Clue, Skinner, McGinnis, and Carpenter.

When the bet was originally made, the proceeding thirty minutes were spent with Clue weaving Greg a verbal tapestry of how dumb that bet was. Greg's retort? "He's not gonna do it."

Good one Greg.

Even as touchdowns rained down like percipitation from the football Gods, Carpenter claimed that he was "not worried", as talk of the wager became commonly known around town.

However, with Moss's 4 touchdown performance on November 18th, it became imminently clear that the Juice-Man would continue his domination over Greg. Let's highlight some other Majewski victories over Carpenter.

1) On July 21st, 2007 Majewski hit a walk-off home run in the Majewski Olympics to defeat Carpenter's team. Greg, irate, took his angers out on the trohpy.

2) The New England Football Patriots are thus far undefeated, of which I remind Greg constantly. His team, the 49ers, sucks something fierce.

3) The Patriots have the 49ers 1st round pick in this upcoming draft.

4) Majewski owns Carpenter in Madden.

5) Majewski also won a wager against Carpenter in college football, when Majewski took Arizona + 12 vs. Oregon, a game that Arizona won outright. That means that Majewski has won over a thousand dollars from Carpenter in football prognostication this year.

Coulda been worse though.